So, it's February 29th. That's cool. Cause it only happens every 4 years.
And I couldn't help but wonder who I'll be on the next leap year.
A lot can happen in 4 years. A lot. I could be in a foreign country (hopefully) for all I know.
I could be married (hopefully not).
I could be still going to school, grad school, or some other school.
I could be pursuing my career.
I could be a mom!
I don't know!
But, I'm so excited to find out.
I can't wait to see who I am, where I am, who I'm with, all I've done, all I've learned on February 29, 2016.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
The pits.
We live on a path.
And sometimes we choose to step off of this path.
Out of curiosity, maybe rebellion, or because the grass seems greener over there.
Without any marked trail to follow we misstep, stumble, and fall.
That's okay, as long as we get back up, and realize that we should probably follow our bread crumb trail back to the path.
But sometimes we fall in holes. Or pits.
Those falls are hard, and fast.
And the pits are deep, dark, and cold.
All our strength is gone from trudging through the wilderness so we're tired and weak. And we wanna just lay there for a while on the nice cold ground. A break from searching. A break from walking.
Then, once we start to feel the pain of our broken bones, and the hardness of the ground, we wonder how we got there in the first place.
It seems like we just took a brief scenic route, so how did it lead here?
It never takes too long to lose yourself. And you don't realize you've wandered...until you're lost.
Until you're lying, broken, on the cold floor of that deep pit, do you realize the steps you took to get there.
And so you start to climb out, ironically, healing on the way.
And it takes a while.
But it's worth it.
Because once your face is warmed again by the sun, and your weary feet touch the soft green grass, you'll look back and be grateful.
Grateful for what you learned and grateful for the grace you were given to climb out.
And you'll never go back.
And sometimes we choose to step off of this path.
Out of curiosity, maybe rebellion, or because the grass seems greener over there.
Without any marked trail to follow we misstep, stumble, and fall.
That's okay, as long as we get back up, and realize that we should probably follow our bread crumb trail back to the path.
But sometimes we fall in holes. Or pits.
Those falls are hard, and fast.
And the pits are deep, dark, and cold.
All our strength is gone from trudging through the wilderness so we're tired and weak. And we wanna just lay there for a while on the nice cold ground. A break from searching. A break from walking.
Then, once we start to feel the pain of our broken bones, and the hardness of the ground, we wonder how we got there in the first place.
It seems like we just took a brief scenic route, so how did it lead here?
It never takes too long to lose yourself. And you don't realize you've wandered...until you're lost.
Until you're lying, broken, on the cold floor of that deep pit, do you realize the steps you took to get there.
And so you start to climb out, ironically, healing on the way.
And it takes a while.
But it's worth it.
Because once your face is warmed again by the sun, and your weary feet touch the soft green grass, you'll look back and be grateful.
Grateful for what you learned and grateful for the grace you were given to climb out.
And you'll never go back.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Choose Wisely
We make choices, without realizing in that moment how much they affect the rest of our lives.
And if we thought a little longer about the outcome,
weighed the pros and cons,
considered the pain,
imagined our future,
where would we be? Would we have made the same choice?
And if those choices hadn't been made,
would fate take over and make that choice for us anyway ?
The choices we make reflect the person we are, and the person we're becoming.
The choices we make affect so much more than we can see. It's a butterfly effect of chain reactions for all eternity.
We look back at the big decisions, the small decisions, the bad ones and the good ones. And we may laugh. Or cry. Depending on how much time has passed.
And we can't help but wonder, what if?
Sometimes there's no possible way of predicting the outcome and we have to dive in head first to find out.
Sometimes the outcome is clear.
Sometimes the outcome is obviously bad, but we choose it anyway.
Sometimes the outcome is obviously good, so we take advantage of it.
Sometimes, we ignore the outcome completely, and make blind decisions based on what we want now.
Those are the worst kind.
Though they may bring temporary happiness, it always ends.
Sometimes, when it does end, we still can't admit to ourselves that it was a bad decision, therefore preventing us from learning.
Therefore causing us to make the same decision again. And again. Until we just don't care anymore.
But as much as those mistakes sting down the road,
how else would we experience the grace that erases them?
These choices we make may push people out of our lives that we never wanted out,
they may change our plans,
they may break our hearts,
they may cause some unwanted drama,
but what if that's the point of it all?
What if our potential is in the way we rise from the mess we've made?
What if beauty hides in the unwanted change of direction?
What if?
Don't you want to find out?
And if we thought a little longer about the outcome,
weighed the pros and cons,
considered the pain,
imagined our future,
where would we be? Would we have made the same choice?
And if those choices hadn't been made,
would fate take over and make that choice for us anyway ?
The choices we make reflect the person we are, and the person we're becoming.
The choices we make affect so much more than we can see. It's a butterfly effect of chain reactions for all eternity.
We look back at the big decisions, the small decisions, the bad ones and the good ones. And we may laugh. Or cry. Depending on how much time has passed.
And we can't help but wonder, what if?
Sometimes there's no possible way of predicting the outcome and we have to dive in head first to find out.
Sometimes the outcome is clear.
Sometimes the outcome is obviously bad, but we choose it anyway.
Sometimes the outcome is obviously good, so we take advantage of it.
Sometimes, we ignore the outcome completely, and make blind decisions based on what we want now.
Those are the worst kind.
Though they may bring temporary happiness, it always ends.
Sometimes, when it does end, we still can't admit to ourselves that it was a bad decision, therefore preventing us from learning.
Therefore causing us to make the same decision again. And again. Until we just don't care anymore.
But as much as those mistakes sting down the road,
how else would we experience the grace that erases them?
These choices we make may push people out of our lives that we never wanted out,
they may change our plans,
they may break our hearts,
they may cause some unwanted drama,
but what if that's the point of it all?
What if our potential is in the way we rise from the mess we've made?
What if beauty hides in the unwanted change of direction?
What if?
Don't you want to find out?
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
What do you do when...
The one thing that you know you want is potentially not meant to be?
When you've spent years planning your life around a dream that has ended up being unfulfilling and dissatisfying?
When you feel like you're not on the path you're supposed to be on?
When you want too many things, but you can't have it all?
When you know what you want, but you have no idea how to go about in getting it?
What do you do?
You don't do anything.
You stop.
You take a deep breath.
You remember that life is out of control no matter how much you try to control it.
You acknowledge your flawed way of thinking when you try to take life by the reins.
You realize that there's no possible way to plan every last detail.
You take one moment at a time, one breath at a time, one step at a time, and trust that everything is going to work out just fine.
Because it's never going to work out the way we plan anyway. And that's okay, because the things that are most satisfying, that come from walking blindly forward, exceed everything we could possibly imagine or dream.
When you've spent years planning your life around a dream that has ended up being unfulfilling and dissatisfying?
When you feel like you're not on the path you're supposed to be on?
When you want too many things, but you can't have it all?
When you know what you want, but you have no idea how to go about in getting it?
What do you do?
You don't do anything.
You stop.
You take a deep breath.
You remember that life is out of control no matter how much you try to control it.
You acknowledge your flawed way of thinking when you try to take life by the reins.
You realize that there's no possible way to plan every last detail.
You take one moment at a time, one breath at a time, one step at a time, and trust that everything is going to work out just fine.
Because it's never going to work out the way we plan anyway. And that's okay, because the things that are most satisfying, that come from walking blindly forward, exceed everything we could possibly imagine or dream.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Morse Code
You know that feeling...
when your heart rate increases, and you start breathing heavier.
Each beat of your heart feels like it's trying to break out of your chest.
It hurts because it's longing for something. It's crying for something it can't have, but at the same time it feels content.
It's craving something, but you don't know what.
Like something is tugging at it, urging it to leap out of your body but all you feel is the painful fact that it's stuck there.
Imprisoned, containing only the ability to do human things like pump blood through your veins and deliver oxygen to your organs.
It's defined by boundaries instead of doing what it wants to do--beat freely.
It's like you're grasping for air that you can't quite reach.
Your lungs are collapsing and no matter how deep your breaths, your heart is not satisfied with the shallowness of the flesh that detains it.
It can't beat through electric impulses alone.
Often it forgets it's true desire and just sustains the life it was given responsibility of. But it needs more. It needs to be fed. It needs to love.
It needs to somehow tell the body that it wasn't only made for these menial tasks.
So it beats faster.
It requires more oxygen.
It tries to jump out of the rib cage that hides it from the world just to get your attention; to make you listen to the message hidden like Morse Code in the beats that you ignore daily.
Your heart is telling you something. Listen.
when your heart rate increases, and you start breathing heavier.
Each beat of your heart feels like it's trying to break out of your chest.
It hurts because it's longing for something. It's crying for something it can't have, but at the same time it feels content.
It's craving something, but you don't know what.
Like something is tugging at it, urging it to leap out of your body but all you feel is the painful fact that it's stuck there.
Imprisoned, containing only the ability to do human things like pump blood through your veins and deliver oxygen to your organs.
It's defined by boundaries instead of doing what it wants to do--beat freely.
It's like you're grasping for air that you can't quite reach.
Your lungs are collapsing and no matter how deep your breaths, your heart is not satisfied with the shallowness of the flesh that detains it.
It can't beat through electric impulses alone.
Often it forgets it's true desire and just sustains the life it was given responsibility of. But it needs more. It needs to be fed. It needs to love.
It needs to somehow tell the body that it wasn't only made for these menial tasks.
So it beats faster.
It requires more oxygen.
It tries to jump out of the rib cage that hides it from the world just to get your attention; to make you listen to the message hidden like Morse Code in the beats that you ignore daily.
Your heart is telling you something. Listen.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)