To learn, to love, to serve

My purpose in life. One, no more important than the other.

Nothing worthwhile ever comes easy.

"The path of least resistance leads to crooked rivers and crooked men." - Henry David Thoreau


Sometimes... I'd just like to give up. 
Sometimes I look at the things I work toward and wonder why I bother trying if it's never going to get any easier. 
Why do I strive for integrity, morality, knowledge, talent and spirituality when I know I can never achieve perfection in any one of them?


Giving into my human nature would be so.much.easier. Letting what's been innately programmed into my being take over sounds so... freeing. For some reason that I've yet to understand, I was created to deny myself, and as everyone knows: that's not easy. I want ease. I want to go with the flow, for once. 


But that's weakness at it's finest. Giving up on what I know is right and worthwhile because I'm too tired and fed up to carry on is cheating myself of the rewards waiting at the end of the race. 


I don't think I could ever let myself give in. As tempting as a nice relaxing float down the stream of conformity sounds, fortunately, I've floated enough to know it's never worth it in the end. And before you know it you're much farther down the stream from the ultimate goal than you ever thought you'd be.

?

I love people that ask a lot of questions. 


Because you don't always know the answer until the question is asked. Even the simplest of questions can reveal your deepest desires, needs, and values. 



Even if the answer is "I don't know", you're on your way to knowing. 

And then you learn something about yourself. 

Strength vs Weakness

Lately I've been seeing a strong theme of strength vs weakness. Kind of creepily, actually. 
For about a week there I'd have a conversation about strength or weakness with all different people, all pertaining to different things. 


I gathered: (according to others' opinions)
Strength is doing what's right when no one is watching, or integrity.
Strength is doing what you most need over what you most want.
Strength is not giving up on something you've set your mind to.
Strength is hiding your emotions at all costs.
Strength is pride.


Weakness is vulnerability.
Weakness is giving in to your desires.
Weakness is the fall after the pride.
Weakness is transparency.


As I try to sort through my thoughts on it, and try to understand the differences, I find it a little funny that we try so hard to be strong when it's inevitably impossible. We are by nature, weak. We were created to need something bigger than ourselves. We were created weak because God's power is made perfect in our weakness and His glory and love shines brightly through it all.

"I have gifted you with fragility, providing opportunities for your spirit to blossom in My presence... Rather than struggling to disguise or deny your weakness, allow me to bless you richly through it." -Jesus Calling

Weakness is vulnerability.
                Or is there strength in being unguarded?
Weakness is giving in to your desires.
                Or is there strength in not giving up on your desires?
Weakness is the fall after the pride.
                Or is there strength in picking yourself up off the floor, realizing you're not as strong as you think you are? Is ultimate strength found in humility?
Weakness is transparency.
                Or is there strength in letting people see that you're not perfect?




To conclude, weakness results in strength and strength results in weakness.


It's a vicious cycle... such is life.